the monkeys are no longer cute.

     I no longer find the monkeys living across from me adorable.  The other day, as I was rushing out of the house, I thought I heard our garbage man so I grabbed the garbage to give to him on my way out.  The garbage man was not there, but I was running late.  Now, I know not to leave garbage outside of our gate because the dogs will get at it, so I left it on our safely enclosed patio and locked the gate behind me.  Upon returning home, I unlocked the outer gate and what do I behold as the gate swings open?  A monkey sitting directly in front of my door, elbow deep in my rotten vegetables.  And he just stared at me and kept eating. He clearly had no intention of going anywhere before his feast was finished.  I would have at least attempted a "shoo monkey" but every person I had spoken to had told me horror stories about some friend being bitten.  And then as he opened wide for a nice, juicy, week-old tomato, I saw his enormous chompers!  They weren't worth the risk.  So I was barricaded outside of my own home by a monkey.  I looked about fretfully as several neighbors (including the garbage man) gathered and watched me debate my options.  After 10 minutes of this, a pack of dogs, who also now wanted my garbage and had access to my patio, finally chased the monkey up to the top of the fence.  I could then chase the dogs away and dart past the monkey into my house.  There I waited for him to finish digging through my discarded before venturing back out to clean up the smelly, rotten, strewn mess all over my patio.  I would like to mention for my own pride's sake, that this was no tiny squirrel monkey we're talking about- these guys are big, and I have no doubt they could take me in a fight if they wanted to!  Damn monkeys.

     In other news, Independence Day is coming up on the 15th!  That means a long weekend and few could be more excited than us.  What will we do?  A quick trip out of the city?  Gorge on cultural highlights, cheap whiskey, and chaat?   Perhaps we'll fly a kite.  Apparently that is what the Delhi-ites who don't blow town do to celebrate the holiday, in addition to watching the prime minister give the annual speech from historic Red Fort.  So Happy Birthday India!  Hopefully, wherever we are, we'll be celebrating in style!

jerk